Teen Titans Highschool: Los Santos
by hexo67
Summary: Robin is summoned by Batman to save America from Mexican drug cartels and Al Queda and so he must embark on a great adventure with the stars of grand theft auto and his friends all while going to Highschool. Will Robin and the Titans succeed in saving America from foreign evil or will they lose and all die. Find out in Teen Titans Highschool Los Santos
1. The Stoner of Dysfunction

A black car drove down the streets of los santos and in it was Robin. robin had black sunglasses on and was texting on his phone because he was really edgy and cool.

"Now to get the Dysfunction stone." He said, driving 90 miles an hour down a road where the speed limit was 40 but Robin didn't care. On his phone was a tracking aplicashon that let him find out where the Dysfunction stone was and it led him to a back alley where four Mexicans were talking with each other in Mexican.

"Where have you taken the dysfunction stone?!" Robin screamed, taking out a hand grenade. The mexicans started saying random things in their weird language so Robin threw the grenade at them and blew them all into little mini peeces. He got out of the car and searched their bodies and found the stone in one of their sombraros.

"Finally i have found it," Robin said with the happiness of a thousand care bears. "this stone will allow me to finally cure beast boys erectile disfunction."

Robin got back in his car and drove off down the road with the speed of a cheeta heading towards the titan tower in the distance. On the way robin ran two stop lights and suddenly a police car started chasing him.

"STOP this is the LOS SANTOS police pull over now." One said through megaphone. Robin took out another grenade and chucked it towards the police car. It went through the windshield and hit the officer directly in the teeth and went into his mouth and exploded blowing the entire car up.

"i guess you could call it an explosive getaway." Robin said happy that he escaped the policde.

When robin got back to the tower he saw beast boy outside. beast boy was extremely gay but Robin agreed to help him cure his erectile disfunction in exchange for getting his porno tapes back since he stol them a few nights ago.

"i have found the erectile stone." Robin said getting out of the car.

"give it to me now I must be ready so i can make sweet loves to aquaman." Beast man said, desperately trying to claw the stone away from robin like a drug addict. Robin held it out of reach.

"NO first you must give me back my pornos. i need to study for school tommorow and that is hard with out fap."

"Fine." Screamed beast boy, throwing the porno tapes at robin and they clattered to the ground. Robin took them and handed over the stone with gracefulness.

"now go away i must go to my room. may satan have mercy on your soul." Robin said this because he was emo and also was a satanist.

Robin went back to his room and fapped all night to his pornos but also was able to study for big test that was going to happen at hig school tommorow. In the next morning robin brushed his teeth and ate black licorish and dark chocolate for breakfast and went to his car. But on the way he found Cyborg talking with someone on the phone.

"Yeah and I said if you do not pay me back by friday I will toss you into a trash compactor and you will die." He then laughed since cyborg was black and the leader of a gang and also made drugs which Robin knew were bad but he did not care because cyborg gave him free weed which was NOT A DRUG and also bought everyone pizza and beer and was cool. Robin went over to Cyborg.

"Who are you talking to." He asked with much curiousness.

"I am talking with batman who is now addicted to crack and he is rich and pays me good."

"Oh okay thats cool."

"yes but batman also wanted to meet with you later Robin okay. He said that he had a trial that would turn you into a true american hero and that you must complete it in order to save the world from an ancient evil." Robin looked confused and raised his eyebrow like a fox that was watching a thirty year old grandma in the woods who hadn't been murdered by a murderer yet.

"Why does batman want me to do this?"

"HE does not want to tell right now but go away for now Robin I am now talking about my drug deal with him okay."

"Okay." Said Robin, walking down the hallway and going to his car.

As robin approached his car he screamed in the anger of a thousand angry wasps who were chasing after someone who angered them. Somone had scraped his car with keys. Paint had been peeled from the car and Robin's face became what a bowling ball would look like if it was facing you.

"I swear that i will find whoever did this horrible deed and bring them to true justice!" Screamed Robin. Little did he knew that somebody was watching him from the distance but that person just went back into the shadows mysteriously.

Robin then set his mind on finding the criminal who had keyed his car and now had new purpose in life. After he went to school and completed the big test this evildoer would be brought to justice in the name of America and all things that were good and pure!


	2. George Bush Gives a Speech

Robin went to school feeling very angry at what had happened to his cool car. He was so angry that he ran three red lights but was a hero so didnt hit anyone while doing so.

When Robin arrived at los santos highschool he saw starfire outside talking with her frineds. Secretly Robin liked Starfire but he was to shy to say it to her so he just cruised by in his car staring at her until he turned around a corner and got out of his car.

"You cannot park besides the entrance robin." Said the retarded hall monitor named Jerry. Jerry took retard classes and was always made fun of and Robin kind of felt sorry for him but at the same time hated him because his voice sounded like if a lemon could screech.

"Shut up Jerry, nobody likes you." Robin raged, going into the highschool and leaving Jerry behind. Jerry did nothing and jusst looked at Robin in a stupid way.

Inside the highschool people were doing the usual things like walking and running and being idiots and talking. Robin kind of hated them but at the same time had to protect them so he didn't hate them because Robin was a hero. He went to class and saw the rest of the titans there.

"Hello Robin have you seen batman yet?" Cyborg asked him.

"No." Said Robin. "Can I have some more of weed now please?"

"I am going to get a new shipment soon so yes you may have it soon but do not be greed." Robin nodded and sat down. People were still coming into class even after the bell rung but none were marked absint because the retard teacher mrs Stick was late again. Everyone just kept talking and the entire class was filled with talking.

In a desk two over from robin Best Boy was rubbing the Dysfunction stone against his crotch. The faster he did it the more it glowed.

"Yes this will cure my erectile dysfunction." He said as he continued to rub the stone against him. Robin made a disgusted face and felt a stomp on the ground as mrs Stick was walking down the hallway nearby. Mrs Stick weighed almost five hundred pounds so when she walked the entire ground shook a little. She also had a small mustache and was extremely ugly and gay.

"Hello class." She said in a retarded way as she tried squeezing through the doorway. But she was so incredibly fat that she was unable to and it just made a rubbery noise as she continued to try to get through the entrance. The class was looking at her by staring and everyone seemed disgusted. After almost two minutes of trying to get through she finally vomited up her breakfast all over the floor in front of her. The force of the vomit was so great it went halfway across the room and landed in a massive puddle and began spreading over the floor.

"Eww." Said a student as little pieces of oreos and fried chicken and mashed potatoes spreaded towards his feet and forced him to pull his legs up. Mrs stick had vomited up so much food that she was almost able to squez through the door but she was unable to.

"Just a second." She said nastily and there was a massive fart noise as she crapped her pants so bad that the fecal matter that was inside her went into her pants and started dripping to the floor out one leg. She smiled and finally was able to get through the door way, dripping chunks of crap in a trail all the way up to the desk. When she sat down there was a nasty squishing noise and at last she began the lesson even though the room smelled like vomit and poop.

"Today we have a guest speaker here at los santos highschool and his name is George W Bush the greatest president of the united states." Mrs stick said. Everyone looked confused as the old president walked through the doorway and stepped in some of the liquid crap that had fallen out of the teachers pant leg.

"where I come from we call those COW pies." Bush said laughing. Nobody laughed though. He went up to the podium by the desk and started giving a speech. "Hello my name is George H W Bush and I am here to talk to you about El Queada and why they are a growing threat to the greatest country on Earth America. I would like to begin by saying that I am basically speaking to the teen titans right now because the rest of you are useless citizens with no powers. No offense but I am a useless president with no powers so it kind of evens out." Everyone nodded in agreement to this. "Okay so many people blame me for doing 9/11 but i am here to say that this is in no way true. It was foriegn scumbags like the Mexicans and desert people who did 911 and not me. The mexicans did 911 by allowing the terrorists to enter america and not doing their part for the greatest country on earth and the terrorists did 9/11 by ramming a plane into the twin towers. Now that that is cleared up I wanted to say that we are expecting the desert people named El Queada to commit another 911 and we will need the teen titans to destroy them before it happens. Batman has talked to me and said that there needs to be true american hero for this to happen and that he may be in this room. And that his name is Robin."

Robin looked at George Bush in disbelief and kissed his pentagram necklace. How could he be the true hero that America needed? He was just a regular kid without any powers but had alot of gear and devices. How could he be a true American hero?

 _Will Robin realize his destiny? Will he find the criminal who keyed his car? And will Beast Boy cure his erectile dysfunction? Find out in the next chapters of TEEN TITANS HIGHSCHOOL LOS SANTOS._


	3. THE MEXICAN VIRUS

After George bush gave his speech the class went pretty much the same and the rest of the day was pretty boring apart from the fact that Beast boy continued to rub the Dysfunction stone against himself to cure his erectile dysfunction.

Robin went to his car and looked the scrapes on it over again, cringing like a person watching a cringy video.

"I will find the person who did this and they shall feel my fist of justice." He said as he got into his car and sped off down the road. Robin went to Mcdonalds and ordered a big mac and some fries and ate them while watching all the disgusting fat people around him. "Thanks to El Queada, America has been filled with a bunch of fat jews." Robin said to himself as he watched people who were almost as fat as Mrs. Stick walk by him. At that moment robin knew that the desert people and mexicans needed to be stopped in order to prevent America from becoming a land of a bunch of fat retards like it already was. Then all of a sudden he got a message on his phone from Botman that said "ROBIN meet me in the los satnos caves tonight at midnight, please dont be late or America will persih" This must have been the message the Cyborge was talking about so robin got out his pocket planner from his pocket and wrote a note to himself that would tell him to go to the caves at midnight tonight.

He ate the rest of his big mac and got into his car when all of a sudden the nearby mcdonalds exploded and blood and guts flew everywhere. Robin gasped and saw Slade holding an RPG and laughing to himself on the street.

"I AM SICK OF STUPID AMERICAN BURGER RESTRAUNT." Slade screamed with the fury of pack of angry snarling wolves about to feast on a trailer park full of hicks. "I am now an agent of Mexico cartel and now fat Americans will feel the wrath of my RPG and convenshiunal weapon." Even though robin hated fat people a little bit he could not sit by and watch a filthy mexican agent destroy the burger joint he loved. It was a simbol of American pride and power because Mcdonalds basically enslaved the whole world to burgers and american food. Robin had even been to japan during one of the movies he was in and saw a mcdonalds there that was selling some asian version of a hamburger so Mcdonalds was good in his book.

"Stop slade! Were you the one who did ths to my CAR?!" Screamed robin as he got out of his cool car and took out a desert eagel. He pointed at the scratched hood of his car.

"I wish I was the one who did that to your car disgusting american hero. But no, I only destroyed the mcdonalds and killed most of the people near it."

"Oh ok. In that case my fury will be less but it will still be something you should fear." Robin said with shrug.

Robin ran towards sade and started shooting with his desert eagle with a valyent battle cry. His bullets missed and one of them hit a fire hydrant and since his desert eagel fired blow up ammo the fire hydrant exploded like what you did to a hooker and water sprayed all over the place like when you pull out.

"You are bad shot but I am Good shot." said slade and he reload his RPG and fired it at robin. Luckily robin dodged it and the RPG instead hit a police car and blew it up.

"Good riddence to racist police." Robin said as he got closer to slade and kept firing his desert Eaglet at him. One hit slade in the face but slade didnt seem to get hurt somehow.

"You are a fool robin, the Chinese communists have given me special armor to resist your stupid jew made gun." Slade boast and he tore a lamp post out of the ground and wacked Robin with it so hard he went flying into a building and hit somebody so hard they broke all the bones in their body and died instantly.

"Oops." robin said but he got back up and ran at Slade again and took out a grenade and threw it at slade. "FEEL THE FURY OF AMERICA."

The grandad exploded and slade was thrown into car which also exploded like a thig in a michail bay movie but those movies are GARBAGE and everyone who likes them are retards.

slade got back up and a bit of his mask was torn off to reveal skin that looked a little bit gasped an point at slde.

"Slade i think you are becoming a Mexico look at your skin. Snap out of it you are an american bad guy and not a mexican bad guy."

Slade raped out the windshield of a nearby car and looked at himself.

"Dear satan it is happening. The virus."

"Virus?" Robin was confused like a gay person but robin was not gay but no hate against people who are though.

"Yes robin there is a virus that weed maker are makeing." Suddenly a claw grabbed slade from the sky and in the sky was a helcopter and in the helicopter was a shadow figure who was smiling and waving at robin. Slade could not finish talking because the claw somehow knocked him out

"Hello my friend how is going?" shadow man started saying like mockingbird except only if the mockingbird sounded like mexican. "I must be taking away slad now but we will meet again. Goodbye and make sure to talk to your doctor right away if you experience an erection lasting longer than four hours when you eventual look at my BODY." He laughed and the helicopter started to fly away.

"YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS." Robin screamed at the helicopter as it went away. Now robin did not know what to know but knew that he would need to figure out more about this virus that must turn people into mexicans or something and also talk to batman.

 _And SO the plot is thick. Will robin figure out the mysterious Mexico virus? What will Batman say to our hero and will beast boy stop rubbing the stone against his crotch? FIND OUT IN NEXT CHAPTERS._


	4. BATMAN COMES

That night Robin went into the caves of los Santas in order to find Batman who was going to make him into a true American hero.

The cave smelled a lot like donkey piss and Robin knew what Donkey piss smell like because he had once been in africa where they had a lot of donkeys and he sniffed donkey pee when he walked by some poor farmer man. The smell kept getting worse and worse as he went in and it got pretty dark and then Robin saw Batman inside the cave and he was using a rock to snort cocane from with a soda straw. Robin could respect people who did drug so he let Batman finish and then went and talked to batman.

"Hello batman I want to become a true American hero and protect the best country on earth from the Mexican cartel and sand people." Robin said to batman. batman looked at robin with red in his eyes and he had a little pedo mustache but apart from that he looked like usual batman.

"Thank you for letting me snort my crack Robin. Cyborg has some very good stuff but we should probably talk about you becoming a true American hero now." He put down his straw and motioned with his hand and then a bald man came out. He looked kind of like a drug addict himself. "This man is named Trevor and he is a true American hero and he will train you to become one yourself Robin. You will do as he says and help him do whatever he wants and that way tyou will know how to defeat the sand people and mexicans."

Robin nodded and tried to shake Trevors hand but Trevor instead bit his hand and growled like a dog.

"I JUST SNORTED BATMANS CRACK AND AM HIGH." His voice sounded like a washing machine because he was biting on Robins hand but Robin pulled his hand away and took out a grenade.

"I will destroy you in the name of satan." He said making an angry face.

"No do not try to kill Trevor he is just high and is not usually this crazy but is still a little crazy." Batman said.

"Okay." Robin said and he put his grenade away. "So how will you make me become an American hero?" He said with much curiousness. Trevor Literally growled.

"I will make you be able to kill people with guns better and blow people up better and teach you the ways of an American hero." Trevor said.

"Alright I guess that makes sense. Also I saw Slade today batman and he said something about a virus that could somehow turn people into mexican people and so I think we should look into that okay."

Batman nodded with a face full of justice and crack and he stroked his mustache that kind of looked like pedofile mustache.

"Yes. I am the worlds greatest detective and I will try and get more information on the virus you speak of but will need some more information." Robin basically told batman all about teh weird guy on the helicopter and where the helicopter went and about his battle with Slade and batman nodded. "Okay I will now investigation this information but go with Trevor for he shall teach you the ways of an American hero."

"Alright batman I will do this in the name of Lucifer." Said Robin.

Then robin and trevor went to the remains of the mcdonalds resturant from yesterday but then robin scream in anger.

"MEXICAN SLADE HAS DESTROY MY MCDONALD." Now Robin was very angry at mexican slade and vowed to take revenge on him in the name of satan and america. Trevor also looked very angry.

"I will destroy mexican slade with you robin when we find him but for now i must train you how to shoot gun."

"Okay." Robin say and then they went to the beach and Trevor took out a sack and took out a gun from his snack.

"This is a pistol Robin and this is how you shoot pistol." There was also a man on the beach who was buried up to his head in sand and he looked like he was half mexican and then he said to robin who was close enough to hear him.

"Robin I know of who is the one who is trying to turn people into mexican. You are the first person who has cum to this beach since i was bury here and that is lucky since I know that you can help to stop Mexico slade and his gang."

"Yes please tell me who is behind all of this." Robin said back in curiousness.

"His name is V." And then man's head explode since it was shot by the gun that trevor was using and then a bunch of blood and guts flew everywhere and got on robin but at least he wouldn't have to wash it out since the blood and guts landed on the red part of his suit.

"What the HECK Trevor." Screamed robin and he went to Trevor and slapped him like he was a three stooges.

"I was just practicing shooting my gun. I didnt think that guy was alive since he face the other direction."

"In the name of Lucifer you are stupid man Trevor but please teach me how to shoot gun now so this will not be a whole waste."

And then Trevor and Robin shoot guns at the whales that were washing up on shore for some reason like in life is strange and Robin then knew how to shoot his desert eagle better and felt that he was ready to find more clues about this 'V' person that the man in the sand had said before he had died forever.

 _PLEASE REVIEW AND FAVORITE AND FOLLOW FOR MORE OF THIS GREAT STORY THANK YOU AND HAVE GREAT DAY AND SORRY FOR DELAY OF STORY ((((((((((((:_


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